Déjà vu

Around this time, in August 2008, I was crying. 

We had quit our jobs, sold or given away most of our stuff, moved in with my parents for a month, and we were just a few days away from moving across the world--far from cultural familiarity, family, and friends--to South Korea to take jobs that we didn't know how to do. 

I woke up in the middle of the night, weeping. 

I felt so scared, so not ready, so overwhelmed, so emotional, so inadequate, so insecure. 

I didn't want to leave my family and friends, my home, my idea of happy. 

I wept and wept, hot tears covering my pillow, until I couldn't breathe. 

My brother and my husband rushed in to comfort me, 

but they couldn't take away the fear, the pain of being uprooted. 

Anne said it best, 

"'I've put out a lot of little roots these two years,' Anne told the moon, 

'and when I'm pulled up they're going to hurt a great deal.'"

Little did I know then what God had in store for me. 

As it turns out, it was way better than I could ever have dreamed. 

And now, four years later, with a heart full of new framily members (framily = friends that are as close to you as family), a head full of new memories and experiences, and a hand full of new skills, I'm crying. 

And I can't stop. 

There's a big chunk of my heart that is SO excited to be returning 'home' to California. 

I am overjoyed at the thoughts of seeing and doing life with family and friends again. 

And, I'm not going to lie, I can't wait to go to Target and the Safeway produce section.

But...

the other big chunk of my heart HURTS. 

I feel so scared, so not ready, so overwhelmed, so emotional, so inadequate, so insecure.

I don't want to leave. 

I don't want to leave my framily, I don't want to move across the world again, I don't want to make a transition,  I don't want to feel culture shock in my own culture, I don't want to tear apart our little apartment, and I just don't want to 

stop doing life as I know it. 

That tear-stained night in August 2008 helps me believe that these tear-stained days of August 2012 will bring forth more of God's good plans for my life. And just as I didn't expect it then, it may be better that I could ever dream.

 And yet... 

I have put down many roots these last four years,  

and when I'm pulled up, it's going to hurt a great deal. 

read more "Déjà vu"

Soaking it up

These are our last days in Korea and I want to soak it all up as much as possible. 

These are the days we will probably remember most vividly in the future, 

so I'm hoping to make them good ones. 

Two weekends ago we visited a beautiful east coast beach with some dear friends. 

We have always wanted to make the trip to this specific area, 

and we were finally able to go. 

It was a super relaxing weekend, filled with walks on the beach, good food, 

and great conversations. 

Other things we've been up to these days:

Teaching the last month of our ESL classes. 

I can't believe that after 4 years of this, we're almost done. 

Enjoying the bright, long summer nights, 

and trying to stay cool in the humid heat. 

I bought a new day planner, and I love it. 

It's full of all sorts of wonderful Konglish. :) 

(Konglish = Korean + not so good English) 

We've been doing a lot of driving these days, which is unusual for us. 

We don't drive our car that much, because Korean public transportation is so great. 

But these days, we're driving a lot; driving to see dear friends and familiar places. 

Driving to save time and stay out of the heat. 

Here's one of those dear friends that we often drive to see. 

He's the cutest. 

I've also been working on something secret and exciting! 

I'll let you know when the time is right. ;) 

I even found some time to sew recently! 

It's been such a long time since I've been able to sit down and sew something pretty. 

What do you think of my new shirt? 

That's all for now, friends. 

Stay tuned for more posts as I try my best to chronicle our last month in Korea. 

read more "Soaking it up"

The Countdown Begins...

And I'm freaking out. 

Why? 

Because in 58 days the hubs and I will be moving across the world. 

Again. 

Don't get me wrong, I'm suuper excited. 

But I'm also very sad. 

This move is the very definition of 'bittersweet' to me. 

But those feelings are for another blog post. 

This blog post is about how I've been FREAKING OUT. 

I've been telling myself for the last few weeks that we have plenty of time, 

a whole two or so months until we leave Korea. 

Plenty of time to ship boxes home, get the cat ready for an international flight (!!!), 

pack, clean, soak up time with dear friends, do some last things in Korea, 

prepare for a few weddings, and do all the usual life things as well--

work full time, keep house, be married, etc. 

Well, I was wrong. 

I was Skyping with my mom the other day and she commented, 

"So, the wedding is in 5 weeks! And then you're home again in 7!" 

*My brother is getting married 2 and half weeks before we move home. 

So, we'll be flying home for the wedding and a few days, 

then flying back to Korea to finish our teaching contracts, 

and then flying home for good. 

As I sit here and type this, 

we are now closer to 6 weeks away from our move home. 

! 

6 weeks. 

Two months sounds so much more waaay longer than 6 weeks. 

Needless to say, 

I'm just a wee bit stressed. 

Just a wee bit. 

John and I came across a very helpful tool in the last few months. 

John Piper's ministries released an app called 

Fighter Verses

and it's a fantastic help in Bible memorization, 

which is something that we both have wanted to get better at. 

Every week the app gives you a new verse to memorize. 

You can set your preferences to your favorite version of the Bible, 

utilize different quizzes to help you memorize, 

read the verse in context and with commentary; 

and the app also files each memory verse under different topics

(like anxiety, worry, spiritual warfare, etc.) 

to help you recall them in memory during different situations. 

Totally worth the $2.99

and I highly recommend you go download it.

And as God would have it,
this is this week's verse:

Well played, God, well played. 

May I encourage you, friend, to make choices to dwell and rest

with the LORD this week, 

no matter what circumstances you find yourself in. 

HE is our refuge and safe fortress; 

HE is trustworthy and faithful. 

And, if you think of me, 

I would appreciate your prayers.

read more "The Countdown Begins..."

Teacher John and the Sparklers Incident.

read more "Teacher John and the Sparklers Incident."

Views from {the rice fields}

The weather here in Korea lately has been c r a z y: monsoon rains, heavy winds, thunder & lightning! 
Although I love the stormy weather, I was thankful for a little breakfrom the rain this past weekend. We took advantage of this little dry spell and took a walk through the rice fields near our home. 
Isn't that the best shade of green you've ever seen? 

read more "Views from {the rice fields}"

The Oath

Last weekend we went and saw Green Lantern. 

It was pretty entertaining (a little cheesy) and surprisingly clean. 

I wouldn't recommend it as a family movie, 

and we probably won't want to own it, 

but it was a good, exciting superhero movie. 

I don't know much about comic book story lines

and I didn't know anything about the Green Lantern before seeing the movie. 

I really liked the concept...

read more "The Oath"

Summer Playlist

I don't know about where you are, but summer has hit Korea! The weather has been gorgeous (and not too hot and humid yet, praise God!)and yesterday we found ourselves driving our car with all the windows rolled down. As I rode shotgun with the wind in my hair, I found myself dreaming up a summer playlist of good music. 
Here's a sampling from my "Summer Playlist"**: 

1. Hey Mama | Mat Kearney2. You, Me and the Bourgeoisie (Tonetiger Remix) | The Submarines  3. Crazy Ever After (Acoustic) | The Rescues 4. Earth | Imogen Heap5. Tell It Again | JJ Heller6. Secrets | One Republic7. Beautiful Things | Gungor8. You and I | Ingrid Michaelson9. Always | Switchfoot10. Better Than This | Keane11. The Re-Arranger | Mates of State12. Suddenly Everything Has Changed | The Postal Service
Happy Summer! 
**You must forgive me if you feel that the music I picked is a bit outdated. I've been living outside the US for 3 years now, so I'm might be a bit behind the times. ^^ 

read more "Summer Playlist"